I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
