Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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