So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Someone signed my nipple.
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