Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
