I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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