The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
These tits shall not be calmed
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
