So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
