I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
