Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
