chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
