How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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