I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
