yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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