As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
