I can tuck mytits in my pants
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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