so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
