I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
