Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize