I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
