also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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