I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
