whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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