We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
