She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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