I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
