Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
