There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
