its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
