hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
