doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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