you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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