He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
