Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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