Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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