Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
