I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it glows. i had to have it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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