bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
