that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
