i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
