Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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