Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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