The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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