our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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