I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You may now shotgun with the bride
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
