so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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