you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
