I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
