There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
