my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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