I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
