Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
