so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
