Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
