well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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