I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
