I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
